


Full circle

by The Blue Escapist (theblueescapist)



Category: Tokyo Babylon
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 10:45:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5453834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblueescapist/pseuds/The%20Blue%20Escapist





	Full circle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sekaiseifuku](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sekaiseifuku/gifts).



The first impression Seishirou has of his mother is that she’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. His eyes slide down from her long black hair to her small elegant feet, then back up to her tapered narrow waist and thin red lips. Everything about her is perfect. 

Yet it’s not her appearance that makes him agree when she asserts he's her son.  
His visceral acceptance of her is due to a much baser fact: she smells like him. The sweet, metallic undertone Seishirou has repeatedly tried to scrub off from his hands clings to her like a second skin. 

When she opens her arms, Seishirou lets himself fall into her embrace without hesitation. He inhales deeply and the muscles in his neck and shoulders relax for the first time in years.  
  


* * *

  
  


Seishirou is brought to see his mother once a month.  
One time he pretends to forget, another he declares he would rather not go. He is forced to meet her anyhow. He seems to have succeeded in not showing how much he looks forward to these visits.

His mother is supposed to teach him the ways of the Sakurazukamori, but mostly they just talk. She is always entertaining and if Seishirou hears more about how delicious the cakes sold in the little shop around the corner are than about the best ways to catch a victim unaware, well. It’s their little secret. 

Seishirou has just turned ten when he asks his mother about the previous Sakurazukamori.

"No, no! He wasn't my father," Setsuka says. "The Sakurazukamori aren't born, they are made. I inherited the title when I killed my predecessor."

“How did you manage to do that?" Seishirou asks.

“It wasn’t much of a challenge,” his mother pouts. “He was in love with me. He wanted me to.”

Seishirou’s breath catches. “The Sakurazukamori can only be killed by the one they love?”

Setsuka pauses. “Well, I suppose we _could_ be killed otherwise if enough onmyouji teamed up, but that would be quite careless of us, wouldn’t it? It’s more a matter of letting ourselves be killed.”

Seishirou sips his tea quietly. “What is love like, anyway?” he asks, eventually.

His mother looks at him and smiles. It’s sweet, different. She tells him. 

Seishirou puts his cup down at once, shaking his head. “That’s not possible for me. Not anymore.”

“You aren’t _broken_ , Seishirou,” Setsuka says, sharply. 

Seishirou turns his head away, stares at the blossoms of the sakura tree against the blue sky. 

“It will happen to you,” his mother says, in his ear. She draws him to herself. “You’ll see.”

Her hair falls down, clouding his eyes, but he still can feel that pink bloom, engulfing him.  
  


* * *

  
  


Seishirou buries his mother’s heart under her beloved camellia tree. 

There are whispers in his ears, angry at being given leftovers instead of their due, but Seishirou already broke protocol by killing his own retinue alongside his mother’s, he can keep making his own decisions without minding the sakura tree any more than he has to.

The first few months on his own, he goes wilder than he himself had expected. He embraces his newfound freedom whole-heartedly, barely makes the effort to show up at school and keep up the pretense of being a regular teenager. He knows he’s making his government shadows nervous, but he cannot find it in himself to care.

Eventually, even the thrill of finally getting to do the forbidden vanishes. Boredom settles on him like a coat of smog so thick not even the freshest blood can liven. He begins considering his own demise.

That’s when he gets his first official assignment. It’s so straightforward Seishirou feels insulted. It must be payback for the leeway he’s had so far, and while he has no desire to prove his skills to anyone, nor is he interested in any way in his nation’s future, it’s still a job. A purpose.

He settles into a new routine, catching up with his studies while waiting for his next hit. They make an effort at providing him with enough of a challenge; he repays them by laying low and exceeding their expectations. All in all, it’s a mutually satisfactory agreement.

Then, one day, inside an illusion only a Sakurazukamori should be able to slip into, he meets a little boy.  
  


* * *

  
  


The first impression Seishirou has of the boy is that he’s white as the driven snow. Seishirou cannot see his face clearly from his perch on the tree, so his eyes settle on the candid formal robe, the immaculate small socks, the useless pristine ofuda. Everything about this little boy is clean.

Yet it’s not the sudden, idle desire to dirty the boy up that drives Seishirou to strike a bet with him.  
His irrefutable curiosity about the boy is due to a much simpler fact: he’s Seishirou’s opposite. The sweet, gentle aura that emanates from his small body is the perfect counterpart of Seishirou’s cold, violent one.

When the boy faints, Seishirou catches him in his arms at once. The boy’s skin is warm and soft against his fingertips, and they tingle with anticipation for a long time afterwards.  
  


* * *

  
  


Seishirou does not see the boy again for several years.  
One time he feels the pulse of the Sakurazukamori mark nearby, another he perceives the boy's distinctive magical signature. Both times he leaves the area immediately. He gave his word that he would make an effort to love the boy, and he needs to be prepared to be able to keep it.

He is supposed to learn the ways of lovers, but mostly he just becomes skilled at reading people. He gets a degree in veterinary medicine because it's necessary for his cover, but if he dedicates a considerable portion of his time to studying psychology, well. It's his own business.

Seishirou has just turned twenty-five when he meets the boy again and decides it's time.

"It's not possible to love an evil person," Seishirou says to the boy, Subaru, a couple of months later. 

"Why do you say that?" Subaru asks.

"Isn't is obvious?" Seishirou smiles. "If you love someone evil, you can only be evil yourself. And if you're evil, then you aren't really capable of love, because you cannot feel that much in the first place."

Subaru is quiet. "I'm not an expert on love," he says, eventually. "But I want to believe that it's possible to love such a person without condoning their actions." 

Seishirou stares at the boy, then turns his head away. "That's very...optimistic of you, Subaru," Seishirou says. "But I don't think even you could do that. We'll see."

He erases the conversation from Subaru's mind, but he can already feel the sakura, devouring Subaru slowly.  
  


* * *

  
  


Subaru buries Seishirou inside himself.

The anger, the screams, the sheer malice that suddenly assault him would have once been overwhelming, but Subaru has already lost all that mattered to him and not minding the sakura tree is easy enough.

The first few weeks on his own, he spends wandering around the country. He picks small towns he thinks Seishirou didn't get to see and visits them in his place. He knows he's making his former allies worry, but he cannot find it in himself to care.

Eventually, even the drive to keep what's left of Seishirou alive vanishes. Guilt takes him by the throat with a grip so tight not even a mantra can exorcise. He begins considering going back to Tokyo.

That's when he gets his first official assignment. It's so preposterous Subaru feels insulted. It must be payback for the weakness he's shown so far, and while he has no intention to kill anyone, it does remind him he _is_ the Sakurazukamori.

He throws himself into preparations, digging up obscure lore after obscure lore. The Kamui of the Dragon of Earth realises his intentions, but does nothing to stop him. After all, a kekkai is bound to be destroyed by Subaru's actions.

Then, one day, in front of a tree only a Sakurazukamori can physically get close to, Subaru becomes the very last of his line.


End file.
